“Sometimes the most important thing in a whole day is the rest we take between two deep breaths.”
Let’s face it, this thing called life knows how to throw things at you and just when you think “I’ve got this” then……. BHAM!!!! But in all it’s craziness, all it’s heartbreak, all it’s challenges…. This life we live is pretty amazing.
Let go of the need to control!
It took me a while to have the courage to let go of control. If I felt like I lost control then everything went downhill. That’s where my love for bodybuilding also helped because if everything around you felt like it was falling apart the gym, the meals and the routine was still there. I could control that and the way I looked so the rest will be ok… eventually.
Through the years I have come to learn that the universe will guide you in the direction you need to go whether you fight it or embrace it. I have learnt that if it isn’t meant for you it won’t happen and whatever is meant for you will find you – at the right time. Then again, you may not feel it’s the right time and then it happens and then you just have to roll with it. I speak from experience that’s why I can confidently say that even when you think you have control…. You don’t.
When things don’t go as planned
This week I had everything planned and even had a little hand written checklist which I wrote last week Friday. I was determined to get those 3 things done even if it’s the last thing I do. Today we’re on Thursday in the week I had planned to get those 3 things done even if it’s the last thing I do…………………….. My list is still there and not 1 thing has been done. Why?? Because LIFE.
It’s not that I was overly busy, things just didn’t go as planned. Other things came up which needed attention. Stuff needed to be sorted out. And all these things weren’t as important as my checklist but before I knew it days have passed and now I am sitting on a Thursday evening writing a blog on having a day, because that’s what I had “A DAY”.
We all get that day where everything goes wrong (or not according to plan) and, like me, you’ll tell yourself things like “this too shall pass”, “it will be ok”, “things could be worse” or “things happen the way they should”……. AND THEN:
You reach a point where you just give up on the “it will be ok” shit and you just want to scream and shout and punch a wall if need be and that is OK!
When I have ‘a day’, I don’t want to hear “everything will be ok” or “it happens” or “you’ve got this”. I KNOW all these things! I say that to myself and everyone else because I am always the one looking on the bright side or seeing the positive in a shitty situation. I just want to sit in a corner and feel sorry for myself and cry if I feel like it because I know tomorrow is another day and I’ll feel better after a good cry. We always feel better after a good cry don’t we?
When you have ‘a day’, what do you feel?
During my swearing outbursts (and those who know me know I swear like a trooper at the best of times) and my feeling sorry for myself moments I ended up cleaning the house because for some bizarre reason it’s therapeutic and I feel better if the place I live in is spotless! My husband hates it because then he’s to scared to do anything because I keep on cleaning!
When my husband phoned to check and see if I’m ok and if I haven’t thrown someone with a chair yet, I just said to him “I’m fine, I’m just having a day.” Of which his reply was “it will all be ok don’t worry”.
His reply made me think about what I previously mentioned about not wanting to hear “it will be ok” when having ‘a day’. What do I want him to do when I have a day?
My conclusion
I want to have my moment and say what I feel and what I think and swear as much as I want to and I want him to listen and tell me how much he loves me and maybe even tell me that I am pretty (which I probably are far from in those moments). If I feel like I want to punch a wall I want him to be my biggest fan when I punch that wall and ask me (genuinely) if I feel better when I’m done and then I want him to kiss it all better because we all know by punching a wall you’ll probably break a bone or two and feel like an absolute idiot afterwards.
If someone has ‘a day’ just let them have it because they probably need it. Don’t take it personal, don’t try and help and please, for the love of peanut butter, DON’T SAY IT WILL BE OK!!!! Just genuinely listen and if you want to say something (which that person will probably be expecting you to) just say “I know exactly how you feel” or anything else in the line of making us feel less alone. Be there, be present.
And then
Everything is going to be just fine!
How do you feel and what do you need when you have ‘a day’? Leave a comment below. I would love to hear from you!
