Feeling stuck? You are not stuck.

Feeling stuck? You are not stuck.

For probably the past 4 years I’ve been having this inner ‘struggle’ between who I am (then) and who I am (now). For years I was dieting, lifting heavy weights and competing. It was what I loved, what I knew and what I enjoyed. However…. That slowly started to change. I was feeling stuck.

I started feeling stuck! Training felt like an effort! Food prepping was an effort! And as a result, my motivation was non-existent! For the first time ever the thing that was the most consistent and reliable in my life felt pointless! The one thing that I felt I had control over when everything else felt out of control.

Who am I if I’m not…. this?

The past few years have been an eye-opener in so many ways. I have done soooooooo much work on ME! A sh!t load of inner work that in turn raised my conciousness and the way I see things and myself has changed so much!

feeling stuck

Feeling stuck and hiding behind physical appearance

See, without realising it, we get attached to things, to people… and we end up defining ourself with that, or rather, we let things and people define us! It can be a friend, a spouse, your family or it can be money, your car or your job.

The reason I have felt stuck was because I allowed my passion to define me. It did play a big role in my life. I think a part of me needed bodybuilding to get through stages in my life that I may not have been able to cope with without it. My training and dieting kept me focused and diverted my attention from the inner battles I was fighting. But I am not that person anymore.

Why am i feeling stuck?

Allowing the Universe to lead without being attached to the outcome

Coming freshly into 2023, I have become aware of the fact that I have finally shed the old me. The person that needed something to believe in, something that wouldn’t let her down, the one thing she could control……….

Truth is, we can’t control anything.

Why am I feeling stuck?

My mentor and good friend who I actually met through one of my amazing clients often gives me “by the way, I think you’ll find this interesting” books, which he politely leaves on the coffee table before he ends our mind training session. He recently introduced me to The Map Of Consciousness Explained by Dr David R. Hawkins which I basically inhaled as soon as I started reading it. In this book Dr David R. Hawkins talks about the body as a vehicle and says “In health, this powerful truth is the shift from ‘I am a body’ to ‘I have a body’. The average person is preoccupied with the body, its functioning, its performance, appearance and survival. People typically identifies the body as ‘me’ and therefore pour much of their waking attention into how the body moves and looks and what it measures. This is a very limited level of consciousness.”

The “Aha” moment and manifestation

Reading that made me realise that I have evolved. My passion was so limited to building the physical body and keeping the mental side in check that I didn’t look after the most important part! I have a body. I am a soul.

My passion exceeds the physical appearance. It’s about overall health and well-being and healing…. Body, Mind and Soul.

You can reach any goal whether it’s body related, work related or health related, you just need to lift your vibration and ask the universe by manifesting it. I have been manifesting things my whole life without realising it!! If you don’t understand or see it now, I hope that you will experience it soon. It truly is a life changer.

Why am I feeling stuck

Guided to help others heal themselves

With this mind shift of mine, I am training differently and adding more things that will benefit my wellness in a whole and not only my physical body. I exercise because it makes me feel good, not because I have to be or look a certain way.  I have furthered my spiritual studies and I am offering energy healing to further help clients where they may face emotional, physical and mental difficulties.

I also realised that my website needs a serious update which I’m looking forward to sharing with you in the next few months.

Have you experienced a similar shift?



I don’t know how many diets you’ve been through, but let me tell you, if you don’t have the right mindset, chances are you’re not going to succeed.  In fact, if you’re like most people, your experience will fit a very familiar pattern….

First, you’re all excited about the diet and sure enough, you follow the directions very closely.  Thanks to your careful dietary guidelines, and your eager compliance, you start losing a lot of weight.  So far so good, right?  This keeps up for maybe a few more days or even a few more weeks.  But sooner or later, the kilograms start coming back. 

Next, things go from bad to worse.  You start gaining more weight than when you began your diet.  Isn’t the whole point of going on a diet to lose weight?  Sadly, most diets are gateways, believe it or not, to additional weight; talk about a frustrating situation. 

weight loss success

The reason why people go through this all too familiar tragic pattern is because they don’t have the right mindset.  It doesn’t matter whether you are trying to adopt the keto diet, the paleo diet, the Atkins diet, the Ornish, or any other weight loss program, without the right mindset, you are playing the game to lose. 

At the very least, you should adopt  three basic mindsets  that will ensure diet success. 

1.  Assume that you can do it 

It’s very easy to get excited about the testimonials included in many diet books.  You look at the before-and-after pictures and you and you get all pumped up.  Please understand that a lot of those pictures are exaggerated.  In fact, a lot of books that are very shady even use photoshopped pictures. 

I know it’s shocking.  I know that it’s hard to believe that people would actually do that, but they do.  So a little bit of skepticism goes a long way.  Still, don’t just focus on the fact that the diet can work for other people.  Instead, wrap your mind around the possibility that the diet can actually work for you. 

That’s right, you personally, individually.  If you can’t understand that, and if you can’t accept the likelihood of a certain weight-loss program waiting for you, then you’re making things much harder on yourself.  It’s like trying to play basketball and trying to put the ball through the hoop. 

If in the back of your head you’re saying to yourself, “other people can shoot really well, but not me,” what do you think will happen?  You’re shooting accuracy will go down.  You’re sabotaging yourself.  You’re making things unnecessarily harder on yourself. 

This is why it’s really important to assume that you can achieve success with the diet.  Not the case study pictures, not the people giving testimonials, we are talking about you.  If you can’t make this assumption, then it’s going to be a rough road ahead for you.

weight loss success

2.  Begin with what you have 

One common reason why people fail with diets is because they think that they have to transform into a completely different person. Alternatively, they believe that their circumstances or their situations need to change so dramatically so as to ensure success. 

When people think along these lines, they’re basically just giving themselves excuses for either not trying, or for expecting bad results. Believe me, I can understand why people do this. If you have been let down by diet after diet, it’s very easy to become jaded. 

In fact, in many cases, it’s very easy to expect failure. After all, you’ve gone through the familiar process of initially losing weight, and then getting it all back. It becomes an old story, and it’s only a matter of time until your heart gets broken again. 

This is why you think that you should change everything that you can possibly change, to lay the groundwork for ultimate success. Again, you’re making things unnecessarily harder on yourself. It doesn’t have to be like this. You don’t have to move heaven and earth to create optimal conditions. 

You know why? Conditions are never perfect. There will never be a time when your circumstances will be just right for you to ensure success. You’re going to have to take that risk. You’re going to have to begin with what you have. 

It doesn’t matter what discipline level you have. It doesn’t matter what else is going on in your life. It doesn’t matter whether you feel good about yourself. All that matters is that you are ready, willing and able to begin with what you have and assume that this will work for you. 

weight loss success

3.  Enjoy your food according to rules you choose 

Another key pillar for diet success involves the issue of control.  A lot of people fail with diets because they think that they are putting some sort of dietary straitjacket on themselves.  For instance, they don’t normally like a certain taste, but since they’re switching over to a new diet, they force themselves to like a certain range of flavors. 

Let me tell you, it’s only a matter of time until your old self rears its ugly head.  It’s only a matter time until you go back to how you normally eat.  This is a very frustrating situation.  It’s as if you are doing really well, and you’re making all these changes, and all of a sudden your old self pulls you back.  You end up where you began. 

This is why it’s really important to focus on enjoying your food.  This is not an ordeal.  This is not some sort of punishment.  This is not some sort of situation where you feel that you are denying yourself.  Instead, the diet should be a celebration of taste.  It all really boils down to enjoying your food according to the rules of which ever ‘diet’ or way of eating you choose. 

You have to first choose the rules.  You have to first choose to go on the diet, and then you select based on your existing tastes.  There’s no need to become somebody else.  There’s no need to change your taste buds.  There’s no need to go through any of that.  Instead, allow yourself to enjoy the flavor range that you are already enjoying.

Now here’s the thing, even if you have a sweet tooth, you’re going to have to minimise that.  That’s the only change, but for everything else, whether you like sour foods, salty foods, or definitely fatty foods, you should be fine. But as long as you manage your sweet tooth, you should be okay. 

Keep atop the mindsets above if you want to be successful with your diet.  I’m not going to lie you and say that you can adopt these mindsets overnight.  After all, the way you see things, and the way you expect things to play out, have been with you for a long time.  You’ve grown accustomed to thinking about food a certain way. 

But if you change your mindset according to the three key pillars above, adopting a diet will become easier, and it is more likely to stick.  Don’t see it as a ‘diet’, see it as a way of eating that accommodates your tastebuds. 


why you need fish oils


How many times have you heard a friend say, “I am on a diet”?  Then what happens is your friend would lose some weight for a while before putting them all back on again.  I’ll bet you have also heard someone say that “Cardio is the best for losing weight”.  This person would then religiously pound the treadmill but results are agonisingly slow.  Soon, she gives up and gains back all the weight she had lost, and sometimes even gaining some extra kilos!


Ah, so you thought you’ve finally found the answer to permanent weight loss. You went on a strict diet and ran your heart out. You dropped kilos real quickly. But somehow, something is wrong when you look into the mirror in your birthday suit. Yes you have lost some weight, but somehow your body shape isn’t as flattering as you would like it to be. And then suddenly, you hit a plateau.

No matter how strict your diet and cardio workouts are, your weight just simply refuses to drop any further. Then horrors of horrors, you actually start to gain some weight! You get disillusioned because with the unrewarding program and soon you succumb to ‘guilt food’ more often, and the weight comes right back up once again. The program fails and you blame it on your bad genes. Why???

Here’s why. Firstly, this blog is to “Fend Off Fat” and not “lose weight”. My point is, by merely losing weight, you will also lose some muscle mass in the process. By losing muscle, you will lose body tone and thus your metabolism rate for burning calories will slow down. Therefore, you have got to build muscle while losing fat. You may even gain some weight because muscle weighs heavier than fat.

how to lose weight without strict dieting

To lose fat and keep it off permanently, you have to combine healthy eating habits, incorporate cardio exercises and lift weights to build muscle.  For every kg of muscle you pack, you will burn an extra 70-100 calories per day even without doing anything.  Can you imagine the benefits of building up 5kg of extra muscle?  You will be burning 350 to 500 extra calories a day even if you just laze around.  You’ll be burning a Big Mac everyday!  To further illustrate my point, 1 kg = about 7,700 calories, so if you burn 500 calories a day because of the extra muscle you have, you will be burning off about 1 kg every 2 weeks simply because of your higher metabolism rate!

You’ll also look good, healthy and well-toned too!  Is it any wonder why bodybuilders eat so much but do not put on fat as easily?

Everyone knows that intensive cardio and strict diets cause you to lose muscle mass along with fat.  So while you will lose some weight at the beginning, you will look like, well, just a smaller version of you without any muscle tone.  That’s not what we want is it?

So, as you lose more and more muscles, your metabolism begins to slow down.  On top of that, your body will start conserving fats and ‘eat’ your muscles for energy because it is reacting to your strict diet.  What happens then is that you will hit a plateau and no matter what you do, you will not reduce anymore weight and your fat will start creeping up again. This, in a nutshell, is the ‘yo-yo’ dieting effect that we hear so much about.

lose weight without a strict diet

Losing fat is simple.  And notice that I said ‘simple’ but did not say that it is ‘easy’. My pointers will be simple to understand, but the execution will take determination and discipline on your part.  It is a lifestyle change to keep the fat off permanently and you will be glad you did because you will get used to the changes in only a few weeks.  By then, it will become a cultivated habit for you, especially when you are rewarded with a fitter, healthier you, together with a glowing complexion!

Here is how you do it. Simply, losing fat just means you must burn more calories than you consume.  Period.

Lift weights with compound exercises – Forget those biceps curls and tricep push downs. Go for big muscle groups like legs, back and chest routines.  Why? Because you are working with bigger parts with more mass, and that means more body parts are working, translating into more calories being expended.  If you are fit, do giant sets (4 or more exercises or sets with no rest in between sets or exercises).

Here’s an example.  Do only one set of each exercise with no rest in between the exercises.  Choose a weight of about 60%-70% of what you normally lift and go for at least 25 reps.  Do more if you can or until your muscles are fatigued, then stop.  Leave the gym. The whole routine should not take you more than 40 minutes.

After thoroughly warming up, start with squats, then dip, bench press, barbell row and military press.  Sounds simple?  Not so. You will be huffing, puffing and sweating profusely.  What is achieved?  You will have combined a cardio workout with a lifting workout and your metabolism will burn for the next several hours.  Do this 3 times a week with at least a day’s rest in between lifting days.

After 4-8 weeks, change the sequence of the exercises.  So if you usually squat first, then squat last.  Then after another 4-8 weeks, change some of the exercises, like substituting squats with deadlift, or barbell rows with lat pull down.  This is to shock your muscles so that they continue to adapt and grow.

lose weight without strict diet

For cardio, go for a run first thing in the morning before breakfast.  If you are jogging at normal speed, sustain the jog for at least 45 minutes.  If you are running at 65% to 80% of your maximum heart rate (you will be panting and unable to sing or complete a sentence while running), then 20-30 minutes will be enough. Anything more than that may cause muscle break down.  You may intersperse the speed with slower jogs in between to catch your breath.  Do these 5-6 times a week.

Eating habits?  Just eat less of what you normally eat.  For example if you have 2 slices of bread with 2 eggs in the morning, now take just one slice and an egg.  Just eat half of what you eat but eat more regularly.  Have 5 to 6 meals a day if you can.  This is to feed your body frequently so that it will not go into starvation mode and start to conserve fats.  At the same time, it will boost metabolism because your body burns calories while digesting the food.  Chuck away all soft drinks, sugary drinks and stop adding sugar into your coffee and tea.  Just by abstaining from sugary drinks, you may already have gotten rid of 200 calories per day.  Drink plenty of water instead and double the amount if you can.

lose weight without a strict diet

Oh, by the way, all work and no play makes Jack a dull (and very tired) boy.  Do choose a day to relax a week.  No exercise on that day.  Indulge in your favourite food if you must and pat yourself on the back and reward yourself for passing another gruelling week.  After all, your body needs to recover too.

As you reach your fat loss goals and you are happy with your muscular development, you can then take things a little easier.  Hit the gym less frequently, have shorter runs and even relax a little in your diet.  Because of your greater musculature, your body is now a fat-burning machine.  You have earned that luxury.

Simple?  Sure.  But do you have the determination enough to lose those fats and keep them off permanently?  Who said you must go on a strict diet to lose weight and keep the fat off forever?  Stay consistent and your body will reward you.

How often do you lift?  Comment below



Fish oil is one of the most commonly used supplements.  It’s rich in Omega 3 fatty acids which is very important to your health.  If you don’t eat enough oily fish taking a fish oil supplement may help you get enough Omega 3 fatty acids.  But why is it so important to get enough Omega 3 fatty acids in?


Omega 3 fish oils are a substance that can be found in the bodies of fish. However, eating fresh fish is no longer recommended. The mercury levels that are prevalent in almost all fresh fish these days can be very detrimental to your health. However, companies have manufactured fish oil that is mercury free by processing the oils that naturally occur in the fish. Omega 3 is a type of fat that is essential for human health. Omega 3 contains two fatty acids that benefit the human body greatly, which are known as DHA and EPA.

why you need fish oils

These fatty acids have been linked to helping prevent heart disease, cancer, and many other diseases. DHA is also required by the human brain. Low levels of DHA in the brain have been linked to depression, schizophrenia, memory loss, and an increased chance of being stricken with Alzheimer’s disease. Therefore, the regular and repeated consumption of Omega 3 fish oils can greatly help affect the quality of your life for the better. 

The American Heart Association recommends the use of fish oils to help your hearts performance as long as you keep your dosage under 3 grams per day, suggesting an amount roughly between 0.5 to 1.8 grams per day. Clinical trials conducted have shown that Omega 3 fish oils can reduce cardiovascular events including heart attacks, strokes, and even death.

why you need fish oils

Research has shown that fish oils can help decrease the risk of arrhythmias, decrease triglyceride levels, decrease the growth rate of atherosclerotic plaque, and even slightly lower blood pressure! With all these facts, there is no doubt that the regular and responsible use of Omega 3 fish oils from supplements can be of great benefit to your health.

Are you getting enough Omega 3 fish oils in?  If so, what is your favorite supplement or brand?



Your mindset is a collection of thoughts and beliefs that shape your thought habits.  These thought habits affect how you think, what you feel and what you do.  Your mindset has an impact on how you see you and how you see the world.  Thought patterns are picked up from our parents, friends, organisations and the wider society etc.

So often we hear (and I’ve mentioned it often) about authenticity.  This happens when we learn to ‘uninstall’ the old thought patterns that we picked up when we were young.  Our values and the way we live our lives are determined by our thought patterns.  So by removing the old and becoming our authentic selves, we start to build on our own thought patterns and values which will then allow us become our true selves and live life to the fullest.


This is where meditation comes in.  With meditation you shut the world out and become more aware of your own thoughts allowing us to see things more objectively.  Understanding the power of your thoughts is the first step to personal mastery.

how to be mindful


1.  The mind can’t destinguish between real and imaginary

2.  95% of your activity is subconscious

3.  Your subconscious has stored almost everything that has ever happened to you

4.  We are bombarded by 2 million bits of data every second

5.  The conscious mind remembers between 5 – 9 pieces of information

6.  Most of our energy expenditure goes towards the brain

    “Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate” – Carl Jung

    There are many ways to increase your mental and emotional power and one of these is through exercise.  As basic as it sounds,  write down your goals and see if you can stick to them.  Both diet and exercise gives valuable insights into our behaviour.  Diet and exercise can be used to build a strong character and a healthy body and mind.

    Diet is another place to start developing mental strength.  Try sticking to a diet for a week and when you can’t stick to it try and figure out why this is.  You will quickly realise how affected you are by the environment where just walking into a shop for example can make you buy instinctively while you knew it was unhealthy.

    how to become mindful


    Manipulate your environment for mental strength by clearing it.  The less information and distractions the clearer the mind will be.  Clean your room and your office, limit time spent in front of the TV, spend more time in nature and switch your phone off at night.  This will have a positive impact on your mental health.

    Remember – the outer affects the inner.


    After establishing a healthy diet, exercise regime and you have a good environment you can try practices which are great for mental development.  You may not like all of them but you may find one that works for you.  These are very direct methods to stretch the mind.  Personally I have fallen in love with yoga.

    Here are some of the best ways to master your mind:

    Meditation – sitting quietly and observing the movements of the mind.

    Yoga – A practice of body movements involving the breath, concentration, flexibility and physical strength

    Fasting   Food is more important to a human being than anything else.  Giving up food for a significant period of time has many benefits and takes incredible willpower.

    Mindfulness – It involves being aware at regular intervals during the day.

    Concentration – Focus on the flame of a candle or your breath for 5 minutes a day.

    Any practice with passion or intensity – This can include painting, dancing, singing etc

    how to be mindful


    Our subconscious rules our behaviour.  We need to be very careful what we take in mentally, physically and emotionally.  We need to reprogram our minds for personal and business success and a great way of doing this is through affirmations.  The mind is most receptive first thing in the morning or late at night which would be the best time to use affirmation.  Affirmations should be used in the present tense eg. “Money and abundance are just a state of mind” instead of “I am not in poverty”.

    Limiting beliefs around self-love, relationships, money, happiness or abundance might be what is standing in your way.  If you don’t believe that you are worthy of love and affection, this might not work for you and things like meditation and yoga would be of utmost importance to put you in a positive mindset.

    Remember, self-programming consists of two parts.  The first being what you program yourself with and the second is what you block out.


    I am a believer in The Law of Attraction.  I believe that once you gather positive thoughts it gains momentum and gains more positive thoughts over time.  Being happy then becomes easier and easier.  It’s not necessarily the mental thoughts that allow you to manifests but the emotional vibration that gives the strength to manifestation.


    There are many ways to develop your mindset for greater success.  Some of the best places to start would be with exercise, diet, meditation and affirmations.  Once you’ve gotten the hang of these there are immersion techniques that you can consider that will help you really expand your awareness.  Developing a mindset will become a thoroughly enjoyable experience that you will have with you for life.  You just need to work through negative beliefs and emotional issues for a while before you can really experience the positive life you want to create.

    Have you gone through a process of self discovery?  I would love to hear about it!  Comment below

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